Pisces Full Moon Lunar Eclipse

Under The Bridge

I think pain, a lot of the time, is bullshit. I know, I know, “a world without pain is a world without pleasure”, but I don’t know if I buy that. I’ve seen a shit load of unnecessary pain in my life. Cruelty, horrifying living standards, brutal abuse. I really wish happiness and fulfillment for everyone; but of course when I can’t do that, when shit is too hard and too real and wishing for happiness seems condescending or ignorant, I wish for strength. The fact is that pain is a part of our world. Pain is an existential truth. Pain, however necessary or unnecessary, is a teacher that no one seeks out. No one climbs a mountain to learn at pain’s feet. Pain comes to you. Until we go to it  

I might be sounding a little BDSM right now but forreal, one of many ways to approach the inevitable pain in the world is by seeking it out.  When we take chances, we gamble against pain. When we try something new, when we fall in love, when we try to be our true selves, we risk pain. Sooner or later we experience a pain so great we know that if or when we come out the other end, we will never be the same. Some people call that feeling cleansing, traumatizing, or transformative. The pain that we confront this Pisces lunar eclipse is an old, old song. A canary in a coalmine.

Pisces is a great dissolver. It’s home is in cosmic consciousness – which is to say the unity of all things on earth and in the universe. With this lunar eclipse I see a dissolving of the compartments we’ve locked painful memories in. Pisces is also the end of a cycle which tells me that there is a huge opportunity for radical healing and closure. Chiron, the wounded healer, follows close behind and Mars spurs a square to the Sun and Moon. This is a reminder that, yes, you’ll feel an urgency to deal with what’s coming up right now, and no – you are not alone. Eclipses reveal. I have a feeling this eclipse will pull the curtain on the tradition of people in your ancestry that struggle with your long standing pain. I think this will also reveal, not only how many people are also struggling with the wounds you have, but how you can help them – or better yet, forgive them.

Hurt people, hurt people. I absolutely see a possibility of you getting frustrated at other people for the qualities of unhealed hurt you have in yourself – more so now than usual. I also see a possibility to try to help people who don’t want or need your help. Don’t stir up bad blood to work out your problems my friend. If you pay attention to this and take your time (Mercury, dude) I think there can be a new way of relating to other people that not only dissolves some of that bone hard scar tissue on your heart but makes you look super cute.

This is just a passage to healing and this is only one of many. This is not the last chance or only chance but it is an important one none the less.

There are a lot of ways to get closure, to take back the parts of yourself that were taken away. There are also a lot of ways to stay fractured, broken, and still be okay. The times when you were most happy are still within you. The conditions may have changed but that was you, and you still have yourself. You are the best person to decide when it is time (if ever) to process your trauma and how.

Remember, Mercury is still in retrograde. Processing can be precarious. Take your time. This energy will be with us from anywhere from two weeks to six months depending on your chart. Lord knows the pain isn’t going anywhere. Take breaks. Put some sugar in your bowl.

New Moon and Solar Eclipse in Virgo

Hope and Reality

 

How come when you ask someone what their hopes and dreams are they respond asking, “Realistically?”. This astrology is all about how real hope can be. Welcome to Virgo season.

Facing reality doesn’t have to be painful. You can face the beauty of yourself. Understand that you are NOT actually alone. Realize you can be happy once you take responsibility for your own happiness (at least most of the time).

I see a potential for options opening up. To try things over again. Mercury retrograde will help this. Yes, I said HELP. But it’s not going to be easy. With Jupiter (hope) in the sky meeting up with Mercury there is an opening for foreclosed belief in one’s self and long term goals. Venus is going home to Libra which exalts the the love of ideas and poetic justice. Do you see where I’m going with this?

Don’t be brand new about it.  You know that you have what it takes to achieve your goals. You know that it isn’t all your fault that shit got fucked up. You see the systems that bind.You also know that you could have done better, worked harder, or even just kept going. Guess what? Mercury retrograde is taking us back a few steps, slowin our roll, and giving us some space to understand all those angles. Details, Virgo says, with the hard facts – determine your own path. Venus in Libra then says, do yourself justice babe, and live it

This can mean coming to terms with some serious harm. This can even mean understanding the harm you have done to others. You are who you are. Some people love you for it, some people hate you for it, but do you love yourself for it? Do you hate yourself for it? What is your opinion? Whether you think you’re a sack of shit or a perfect angel ask yourself, how are you living up to it?

At it’s worst, this astrology can drive very sensitive ‘enlightened’ people deeper into denial. This is the blame game, projection city, and the stronger we hold on to illusions of ‘woe is me’ and ‘nothing will ever change’. The more we think we know, the harder we cling to old beliefs and the more invested we can become in these outcomes. But what happens when you have to confront an opportunity to reclaim a forgotten hope. I’m definitely not saying become a pollyanna. I’m not even trying to convince you to be more positive. I’m saying, you gotta be realistic. You already know what’s up but just because things didn’t work out last time, doesn’t mean they can’t ever again.

If you feel like you’ve lost something valuable about yourself, a tool that is necessary to do what you need to do, go back to that moment where you lost it. Look at that moment again. USE that moment to get it back. Do yourself justice. Do it with love. Do it in harmony with what you want in life. All these are highest vibrations of beauty and you are exquisite.

 

 

Mercury Retrograde Bonus:

This is a good time to listen to what others think of you with a measure of cold reflection. Instead of taking it to heart figure out what is it, exactly, that gets under your skin when your opinion of yourself and the opinion of those around you don’t match up? How do these miscommunications and misunderstandings actually affirm who you really are? You KNOW when someone has you pegged. You know when someone is projecting their shit on to you. Instead of taking someone else’s opinion to heart, take these ruffled feathers and irritation to heart as a sign that you know who you are or you need to come to terms with something you’ve been made aware of. Don’t react, respond. Choose your words in alignment with that self awareness.

 

*Featured Image is Birth for a Web by Eva Švankmajerová. She was a Czech surrealist painter, ceramicist, and poet who also worked as a costume, set, and visual designer for film in the 1970s.

 

Full Moon in Aquarius

Strength and Guidance

 

I am always looking out for success stories. I think my favorite thing about them is the fact that many of them come out of failures. I mean, Oprah was fired from a tv news station before (or because) she became Oprah. The greatest stories I’ve heard have talked about moments, which in reality could have been months or even years of deliberation, when someone makes the decision to respect themselves over a society that tells them they’re not worth respecting. To me, this is the greatest risk we have to take. Sometimes a risk isn’t something we take. Sometimes a risk is something we make. This moon is about the process that is required to get to that moment.

These moments of clarity and bravery come more than once a year and it doesn’t always have to come when the full moon lunar eclipse is in Aquarius – but it sure doesn’t hurt our chances. This spectacular moon has three major helpers in the ways of turning our lives towards the practical and unpredictable parts of the work we set out to do in the world.

The moon in Aquarius can be a little nervous. The bright light of the sun, even just reflected by the moon, is still a lot for a sign that desires so much freedom. When I think of the moon in Aquarius I think of the incredible pressure of the very important question “What do you have to offer?”. In response to this I’d like to ask you, what temple do you worship at? Where is it? What do it serve? Go to that sacred place at least once in the next two weeks. Make a deal with your makers. Find your own words but be sure that it’s essence is rooted in self respect, cooperation, and service. Do not hide these gifts from the world. Do not spit in the mother’s face.

The bright light of the full moon is shining on that which brings you most freedom and that which frees those around you. In order to succeed, you need networks of people who want that for you and support your vision. A good exercise is to look at what is coming up for you right now, especially conflicts about autonomy, intellectual expression, and collaboration, and visualize RESULTS. If things keep going the way they are, what will happen? What skills do you need? What tools? Location? Connections? If something needs to change, change it now. The moon’s sextile in Uranus can bring some unexpected events that may appear to be divine interventions in these conflicts. Venus in Virgo training Pluto can also be very helpful with this process. Venus will suss out things you’ve been on the fence about and the trine to Pluto can send a powerful understanding of all the reasons why you should or shouldn’t be apart of something. I see this as generally uplifting but in the case that you are wracked with guilt or shame about an interest or attraction, well… you know the old saying. If you love something let it go. Don’t keep something around just to blame it for your unhappiness.

For some of you this talk about service can feel very treacherous. Why serve a society that doesn’t serve you? I hear you and after I take a step back from my own feelings about this I want to say that the parts of us that we fear will never be accepted by society are the parts that save us from an unjust society. Think of service with a sober mind. Set these fears in front of you and look at them as if they could stare back into your eyes. See them for what they are. Bait. It is bait for a myth that if we give what we do to the world we won’t have enough left for ourselves. I want to believe that under the aquarius full moon showing the world our gifts brings back more that we had before. I don’t know who or what is casting a line in your life but you get to choose whether or not you take that bait. Whether you’ve invested your life into those fears – hook, line, and sinker or old fears are arising around emotional independence, you can make a choice today. Or tomorrow. Or in a few weeks. Whatever. The point is, to be a part of anything we must be the whole of ourselves.

 

Show gratitude for the gifts you’ve been given by sharing them with the world.

Capricorn Full Moon

Releasing Tension

This moon I want to keep things on a practical level. I want to tell you to watch out for your rage, your humiliation, to not take things so personally. I want you to guide yourself, like a hurt and angry child, to safety. I want you to listen to yourself, get the information behind the pain, and wait. You energy can be scattered right now. Your resources depleted. Acting out now can leave you with more anger and exhaustion. But  I can’t just say that. I can’t just tell you to “take care” and wait it out. I have a feeling you’re already doing that the best you can. So I’m going to go a little outside my comfort zone and talk about how we can keep doing that with the wild stars we have now.

Looking at the news, our communities, families, and friends we can see the direct impact of hate and systemic violence. We gather our strength to reach out, to speak out, to find other tired arms and voices. We are exhausted with dissapointment. We are exhausted with painstakingly examining and explaining a system that doesn’t work. We are exhausted with only being met with these systems being reinforced. Something needs to change. Not just change but be completely different. Brand new. Not recatagorized, but revolutionary. This full moon touches on an honest place where we understand how the violence and pain in the world can no longer be ignored and we, you, and me must dedicate ourselves to change.

It is very easy to be pessimistic these days. It is totally reasonable to boycott hope and prepare for the worst. It is strange to not be heartbroken, worried, or stressed on a regular basis. It seems that we are slowly moving towards a crisis point, a historical moment of grief, disappointment, confusion and rage. We can feel as though those who were supposed to take care of us, those who we entrusted, will fail us or even hurt us. We can feel as though things are beyond accountability. We are moments before a break up, counting our money, looking for a new home, recalibrating our worth, because the world is not accurately reflecting this right now. We need to find a new way of assessing ourselves that are not reflections of those who do not love us, need us, or want us. We need to find new ways to be free. A big part of freedom is release. Crisis is another word for a time to make a decision. Are you going to choose to hold on to old familiar ways or embrace the necessary new?

I think the tension for the Capricorn full moon is absolutely about insecurity. Things are happening so fast there is barely time to emotionally react, let alone assess the situation. We can sometimes react before we get a chance to choose how to act. There are tremendous conversations in the sky happening about resources (material, spiritual, and emotional), discipline, energetic economy, social responsibility, and FREEDOM. When I see these things being put together I can’t help but think about generosity. When things are happening very fast, very intensely, and you are scrambling to catch up, we can always ground ourselves in generosity and gratitude. I hate myself for saying that but I think it’s true especially when we (particularly brown and Black people) are generous and grateful to ourselves.

I will never ever tell you to put away your anger, your sadness, or rage. As I said in my Cancer New Moon lunation, our emotions give us vital information, and we should always hear them out. However, as social beings in this century, we receive a lot of stimulus that provokes a lot of feelings. I want you to feel free and a part of respecting your emotions is understanding and allowing yourself to experience the breadth of perspectives you can have. So, in a time of restless tension, gratitude is still there. In a time where bodies are policed, incarcerated, and scrutinized, we can look outside the terror funhouse of the world and be grateful, for a moment, for ourselves. We can rededicate ourselves to that which is grateful for us. We can shamelessly come out in support of our bodies and bodies like ours. See how we can create new paths, rooted in ancestral wisdom, and invest in long haul dedication to that which reflects our beauty and values the resources we are naturally rich in. Our multiple intelligences, our study and craft, our spiritual manifestations, our big beautiful minds. This moon can bring about an invaluable discernment between what people say we ought to be and the value of us as our natural selves.

My suggestion is to get closer to that self, the “right here right now” you, and ask yourself what is your biggest wish for the world. Then for your community. Then for you. Try not to concern yourself too much with the should and could (or what other’s should or could). Allow yourself to enter the world of dynamic reciprocity where what you put in to the world is a necessary contribution to creating a better world. Imagine it coming back to you seven fold. This is something you must dedicate yourself to. This is where the discipline and rigor comes in. This is where you apply the lessons of your teachers. This is a place of honoring the wisdom of others because you are living the wisdom of you. Again, crisis is a time for decision, so decide to invest in something regenerative and reciprocal for you and the world you live in.

New Moon in Cancer

Feelings and Healings

Shit happens. We go through this all the time, we fight, we fuck, we break up, we cry, we stew, whatever. Mars Retrograde has surfaced some old wounds that we thought we were done with a long time ago. We thought we were past this. We need to get past this.
The Cancer New Moon doesn’t require a lot to perform healing. She likes baths, oceans, rose water. She deals in intuition, the senses, the comfort and pleasure of the skin. She wants you to feel how it feels because you might have been avoiding some important steps in your journey towards intimacy and fulfillment.

When I think of Cancer I think of the ocean, I think of the tides. When you are caught in a tide the worst thing you can do is try to fight against it. This is our natural inclination, to survive, but this isn’t how the ocean works. When we surrender to the tide she may pull us in deeper, but we can save our energy once the rolling tide passes, and swim to the surface. Of course, this is a metaphor for emotions. Our scariest emotions. Feelings of entrapment, rage, and endless sadness. Of course this is a metaphor for healing. Healing is nonlinear and illogical. It is against our illogical and sit quietly while bombs drop around us. It is counterintuitive to surrender in what feels like a war. It is hard not to beat ourselves up for being to intense or vulnerable or cold. It’s hard to acknowledge that things you thought you were over are not done with you yet.

Our emotions can give us vital information. They can be a green light, an alarm system, a fuel gauge. My bet is that your anger and frustrations are showing you where your boundaries need to be and you are not sure if your ready to build them. Boundaries can mean letting go. They can mean breaking up. But honestly, the ones that are going to go up after these next two weeks are going to be about respecting yourself and the people you love. It’s transcendent. It’s long game. It’s real love. It’s fucking radical.

Just as self care isn’t about taking care of others, self care is not about avoiding responsibility for your actions. It is, in some ways, preparing yourself to be solid enough to be confident in your choices and to act in ways you are proud of so in the times we don’t act in accordance with our integrity, we can recognize it too. When we don’t take care of ourselves, very simple and honest responses can feel like they’re sinking our ships. If we ground our actions in our principles and meet our own needs, being accountable to those we love can be a positive influence in our lives.
Respect the messages your feelings are sending you. Take time to go through them and find where they meet your reality. Witness them. Honor where they came from. Let them be obscure and illusive, avoid emotional hygiene and new age guilt trips about becoming a “whole person”. You are a whole person, though sometimes or most times fragmented, distorted, or broken, you are whole. Yes, respect your feelings and avoid being over protective. What I mean by this is that there are feelings that serve us and feelings that have been products of our environment, ways we have been conditioned to feel that may not accurately reflect what we actually need. Guilt and shame at their best can be markers of where we could have done better. But under patriarchy and white supremacy they are often useless attachments to not being good enough, for needing “too much”, or even being too much. Although the New Moon is a time of new beginnings I think the most successful endeavor we can embark upon this cycle is recognizing old pattens of guilt, shame, or insecurity.
The new moon falls on the 4th of July where, in this country, we set off bombs in “celebration of the liberty provided by our forefathers”. There cannot be a better metaphor for the irony and flat out bullshit this statement is than the scene in a refugee center or a VA hospital on this day. My liberation isn’t celebrated with bombs, beers, or bros. My liberation will be celebrated when every prison is destroyed, all reparations are paid, and patriarchy eviscerated.
May the explosions this evening feed dreams of smashing the state. May all war survivors in this country be held by those they love tonight. May all who were children familiar with gunfire let their tears flood the streets. May the land rise up and swallow it’s colonizers whole. May we celebrate the our love for each other and ourselves tonight and every night. As we heal ourselves, we heal each other. Happy Interdependence Day.